I'll be happy when... (Elephant Journal Feature)

a journey towards self-acceptance and self-love

(Elephant Journal Feature)

Until my early 30s my mindset was very fixed and quite skewed. This is an acknowledgement of a deep lack of self-acceptance and self-love, which created a vicious cycle of low self-esteem, neglect and unhappiness.

I viewed myself through a warped lens. Deep down I felt that I wasn’t worthy, that I was flawed and unlovable. Unclear of the cause of my unhappiness, it took a long time to find the jigsaw pieces and put them together, eventually revealing the bigger picture of what was “the matter”. I know that I’m not alone in this. Many of us struggle to develop a sense of self-acceptance and self-love.

Somehow I muddled through in my 20s and early 30s. I was the first member of my family to graduate from university, followed by a master’s degree in Psychotherapy. I pursued a career as a therapist. I was doing well. Yet I still felt this void within me, with a hunger needing to be satisfied.

I had a tendency to suspend my happiness and contentment. With hard and fast beliefs such as “I’ll be happy when…” I lose 3, 7 or 10 lbs or when I graduate from University or earn more money, I’m in a meaningful relationship, marry… then I will be truly happy.


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Liz Keates